My Biggest Fan

I am one of those really lucky people who has someone in my life that has always been my biggest fan. No matter what I did, my brother has always been there to tell me, "You can do it" or "Great job".. There were many times that I wasn't sure I could do it and I have a tendency to doubt myself a bit but his words helped me in so many ways. I am pretty sure he doesn't even know how much his encouraging words helped me to do really hard things. I was able to tackle some of the steepest hills on the ski slopes, telemark through the trees, run on some really hard trails, finish an Ironman and, last but not least, start writing again. Of all these activities, you may think writing doesn't sound like such a hard thing but it took a lot of encouraging words from someone who has always believed in me to get me to sit down and start to write this blog. Don't get me wrong, I have always loved to write. From the time I was really small, I was always writing poems and stories and entering writing contests and even winning those contests. When I got to college, it was a natural fit for me to enroll in some writing classes. This was the beginning of the end of my writing. I had a teacher who did nothing but criticize my writing abilities and for some reason, I listened to him and began to really doubt that I had any talent at all. So, I stopped writing. I graduated with my degree in English and started my career in.....sales! I did have the joy of teaching my children grammar skills and helped them go on to become great writers but I didn't do much writing of my own. And then after many, many years, my brother Ron encouraged me to start writing again. His belief in me meant so much to me and because of his encouragement, I started this blog. He has been my only faithful follower... my biggest fan. But the funny thing is, that was enough for me. Just knowing he was reading my blog kept me writing it. The input he has given me means the world to me and makes me want to get better and to write more...and best of all, I have been reminded how much I love to write. So, to my biggest fan, my really good friend and my big brother, I want to say Thank you. Thank you for all the happy memories we have created together and there are many. Thank you for finding the positive in difficult situations. Thank you for loving my children and for being truly interested in their lives and supporting them in so many of their activities. Thank you for encouraging me and believing in me and for loving me in spite of my many weaknesses. Thank you for making me want to be a better person because of the amazing person you are. Most of all, thank you for being the best big brother a girl could ask for. I love you Ron, more than any written word can express.

Don't Worry Be Happy!

I am a worrier. I wish I wasn't but no matter how hard I have tried, I have not been able to change that part of my personality. When my children were little I was always worried about one thing or another and I remember thinking how nice it would be when they got older and I didn't have to worry about them so much.. That was a stupid thought. As they got older, I had so much more to worry about. I worried about them driving. I worried about them choosing good friends. I worried about them if they were sad or sick or.... well, you get the point. So now, they are adults and you would think I could finally stop worrying but unfortunately that isn't the case. Michael has a new job and has to travel all over the place so I am always so happy when he lets me know he has arrived to his destination safely and even happier when he lets me know he is home. Stephen is across the ocean in England but to be honest, I have to worry about him alot less than I did when he was home riding all over Salt Lake City on a motorcycle. So now, I only have to worry about him riding his bicycle all over England. And Jen, she is an amazing mother with four great kids and twins on the way and she takes on all life's challenges with an amazing amount of energy and enthusiasm so at this point, I should know that I don't have to worry about her. But she is my daughter and this pregnancy is presenting all sorts of challenges and so I worry. What I need to do is look at all my children and learn from how they handle stressful situations. They seem to remain amazingly calm and collected as they take on really hard things. Where did they get this quality? Is it because they don't want to be a worrier like their mother? Is it that I worry enough for all involved? I don't have the answers but I have to say, I want to be like them when I grow up. Oh how I admire Jen as I watch her approach this latest challenge with such strength and faith and if she can do that, I can try to do the same. She has the best doctors taking care of her, the best surgeon, and an amazing husband so I am not going to worry...that is, at least not for a day or so.

Spring Anyone?

I have to admit, I have been so happy that we have been getting so much snow this Winter. We really needed all the snow after such a meager Winter last year and John and I have had a lot of fun playing in all the fluffy, white powder. From climbing Grandeur Pass in snowshoes to cross-country skiing to the top of Millcreek Canyon, it really has been enjoyable... but now, I am ready for Spring. For some reason I am not excited at all for this next snow storm. It could be that this Winter has been long and dreary with the days and days of the temperature inversion so I am more than ready for the snow to start melting and the sun to come out. I am sure we will find a way to have fun in this next batch of snow but deep down, or not so deep down, I am ready for the ice to melt and the temperatures to rise and the sun to shine. I guess that is the great thing about living in Utah, just when you are ready for one season to be over, the next one is just around the corner.. at least I hope it is just around the corner. And if it is not around the corner, well then, St. George is not so far away.

Smog, Fog, Sickness Blog

It was so wonderful to drive out of the smog and into the blue skies and sunshine of St. George. It was still only 50 degrees but that felt almost balmy after so many days with the temperature teetering around 20 degrees. I was so happy to see the sun and couldn't wait to get on my bike and go for a ride but when we finally got to St. George I wasn't feeling 100 percent.. and when I woke up Saturday morning, I wasn't feeling great at all. I was sure if I just got out in the fresh air on my bike, I would feel so much better so as soon as it started to warm up we headed towards Snow Canyon to go for a ride. It didn't take me long to realize that the fresh air wasn't going to magically cure me and halfway up the hill I was struggling... sweating, coughing and feeling REALLY tired but I was sure it was just because I hadn't been riding outside for awhile and I was just a little out of shape for the hills. Unfortunately, there were people in front of us and they were riding just a little slow so I decided we needed to pass them which was a HUGE mistake. Once we passed them the hills got steeper and I had to do everything in my power to stay ahead of them and feeling the way I did, my power was pretty limited. But, of course, try to stay ahead I did until the final climb, at which point two of the three people we had passed, passed me. Please note, the third person never did pass me.. just thought I would mention that. The ride back to the car was really nice and smooth and predominantly down hill so by the time we got back to the car, I was ready to go again. And, I was sure this time I would feel so much better. I did feel a little better because I wasn't racing anyone and we stopped and took pictures and just enjoyed the moment. However,contrary to my theory, the fresh air hadn't cured me and the 30 mile bike ride might have been a little too much for someone who was coming down with the flu. So the rest of the night I was tucked in bed with a high fever while John went from store to store for hot soup, a cold Diet Coke, and Nyquil. But after a very long night, I still managed to talk John into going on a short, flat bike ride Sunday afternoon before we headed home. I just wanted to breathe in some more fresh air before we had to drive back to the smog. Even though I felt pretty miserable for much of our getaway, I am still so happy we took a little reprieve from the smog. I would much rather feel miserable on a bike in the sunshine than on the couch in the smog.

Am I going anywhere?

I have a love / hate relationship with the treadmill. I love that I don't have to wear 3 layers to go for a short 4 mile run and I love that I don't have to breathe in carcinogens. Oh, and I love when I am DONE!! I hate the rest of it. For someone who loves running, it is amazing how much I dread getting on the treadmill for a short little run. Four miles seems like ten and watching every second and every step pass by before your eyes is very defeating. I don't know why every mile seems so much more difficult when you aren't actually going anywhere. It does make you feel a little sorry for hamsters. Why do people think they are enjoying themselves in their little cages running around and around in a circle? I do love running but I love running outside...in a forward direction until I get to a point where I have to turn around and run back to where I started, all this time enjoying the outdoor scenery. I guess you get to enjoy scenery in the gym...but it is all the scenery I try to avoid while running.... TVs, noise, and lots and lots of people. So as you can tell, I can't wait until the inversion is gone and the temperature is a little more pleasant. But until then, we are going to St. George. The sunshine and the clear skies are calling.. but most of all, a trail that leads somewhere seems very appealing.